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ZODIAC

Found 9 results

  1. Technology, it's a funny thing really. While it solves the purpose of making the lives of humankind a lot easier than it used to be before, it has also opened new ways for people to embarrass themselves in public. Take our guy Daniel in this video, for instance. The man was bored to death in the middle of what looks like an official conference call and he decided to 'take care of himself' while the rest of the people went on talking about “consumer spending”. He thought he turned off his web-cam.pic.twitter.com/Db82LOS4c4 — Mr. Alabi of Lagos (@the_Lawrenz) May 29, 2020 A man who knows his needs, Daniel decided to bring the tools of his trade from his bathroom - a big bottle of lubricating lotion and a big box of tissues and started prepping to 'flick his bean'. The only problem was that he forgot to turn his laptop camera off before getting on with it, unintentionally (hopefully), putting his show on display for the rest of the staffers to marvel at. His colleague Bennet R (bottom left) knew what was about to go down as soon as he saw the bottle of lotion on Daniel's desk, the expression on his face was of concern, not embarrassment. He wouldn't want to be in the poor, horny man's place. My man knew what was up once he saw the toolspic.twitter.com/uGUPUGmrJk — Obinna (@Victor_oe) May 29, 2020 Sophia (centre left) just wanted to be a part of the official meeting and didn't sign up for the prime-time show. She warned Daniel that his camera was on, but her cry fell on deaf ears. As our main guy unzipped his trousers, Chris (top middle), the cat guy, felt like it was too good to watch alone and invited someone off-camera to become a part of his journey. But at the same time, he did his best to save Daniel from 'poaching his egg' in front of his boss and kept calling him. My mans said aye come look at this shitpic.twitter.com/vs1mYaNloa — slayer joe(@slayer_joe_ver) May 29, 2020 Mika (centre), with her mug of beverage, wanted to know how things would turn out and observed silently before things got really real! pic.twitter.com/PVrgLiouGw — Fleshly Gripes (@FellzWargo) May 29, 2020 Poor Xelene (bottom centre) wasn't ready for it. After a screeching “oh my god” she felt that running away from the scene of the crime would rid her of what she'd just witnessed. I wonder if it did... Gooone gal pic.twitter.com/Bq2WFfA0VO — Mumbler100 ð ð¤ð¾ (@MumblerAREA) May 29, 2020 Don't know if Michael K's (top right) screen froze or he did. With a hand covering his mouth, the man didn't move even an inch as Daniel 'cuffed his carrot'. Sean (centre right) was prepared for the meeting with his stats and numbers and had answers to everything that was about to happen during that conference, or at least that's what he thought. As soon as he saw what Daniel was up to, he jumped out of his seat and moved way back. Unfortunately, that's one problem social distancing won't help you with. And woman in-charge Chanel (bottom-right), quickly realised that there are certain things that don't fall under her jurisdiction. "Daniel??!!" pic.twitter.com/whQOEkqOa8 — Mumbler100 ð ð¤ð¾ (@MumblerAREA) May 29, 2020 Well, I am running out of ways to tell you that Daniel masturbated in front of his entire office and one of his best friends/colleagues decided to share their scarring experience with the whole world. And now that we have seen it as well, we don't really know how to get over it. And now we are both sad and depressed. *melancholy music* Note: The authenticity of this video is yet to be verified. View the full article
  2. It's lockdown day number 28 and no one can differentiate weekends from weekdays now. Itâs like time doesn't exist anymore. Everything is a blur and people who are privileged enough to stay at home safely are just getting bored out of their minds. With everything going on, turns out all hours have turned into horny hours on Twitter, something that was reserved for just night in our non-quarantined life, and came right before âsadboiâ hours. But, turns out it was actually National Horny Day yesterday and it's still going strong. It was time for rise and grind since it has been trending since 9 am in the morning. Technically it's still a workday and a trend about being horny on a working day, that too so bright and early, is not something we thought would actually happen. But hey, we're in lockdown and honestly, nothing sums it up more than this. I agree. its been #NationalHornyDay every day since quarantine. nothing new â J. David Alvarez (@DavidAlvareeezy) April 16, 2020 Pornhub is ready for it. National Horny Day? It's like the day was made for me. â Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) April 16, 2020 There are thirst traps. thirst trap Chief Hopper reporting in for national horny day pic.twitter.com/5AMFWdA5iE â NX (@NXOnNetflix) April 16, 2020 Everyone right now. When itâs National Horny Day, but youâre in lockdown and single: pic.twitter.com/X4SFM9EPXm â Brownie (@CronicBrownie) April 16, 2020 I can't decide if this is a good joke or it's so bad that it's good. I, for one, think it's wonderful that we have a holiday to celebrate the beauty of these powerful creatures' distinctive, majestic horns. #nationalhornyday pic.twitter.com/Mh27IqK2CF â Evan Blass (@evleaks) April 16, 2020 Simu Liu is celebrating. In honour of #NationalHornyDay might I present my list of top horns of all time: pic.twitter.com/q1afG87um8 â Simu Liu (@SimuLiu) April 17, 2020 Everyone's apparently. Itâs national horny day, but itâs trending in the US, India, and Canada so whoâs national day is it really â mae â¼ (@itookapanga) April 16, 2020 Sounds fake, but okay. so...youâre telling me national horny day isnât every day? â zoey (@dumbzrld) April 17, 2020 The worst. It's national horny day but my bf and me we are not in the same house. pic.twitter.com/zmew7rNce5 â ðð®ðð±ð²ð»'ð ððµð¼ð¿ð² | nsfr (@anakinhoee) April 17, 2020 Yep. I see #NationalHornyDay is trending. Honestly seems to get earlier every year. â Mark Watson, indoors (@watsoncomedian) April 17, 2020 Okay, everyone. National horny day is over pic.twitter.com/herXJjE54U â MarkAssBrownie (@MarkAssBrownie) April 17, 2020It is funny and coincidental that how this trend actually perfectly sums up the lockdown mood for us. View the full article
  3. About 10 years ago, a lot of people were thirsting after Robert Pattinson when Twilight came out. To this day, nothing has changed. Robert Pattinson completely took over Twitter these past couple of days and that too because of a video that came out five years ago. Once upon a time, the new Batman and model Camille Rowe did an ad together for Dior and it's going viral right now for some reason, not that anyone's complaining. Actually, if you watch the video, you'll know why it would have people talking about it all the time. Here's the full ad as well: Not that surprising that it's still making people go crazy - and horny - even now. Half the people can't stop watching the video again and again, the other half is complaining about their Twitter being filled with just that video for two days now. Basically, literally the entire internet is going crazy over this Christian Grey-esque version of RPattz, for very understandable reasons. rewatching robert pattinson dior video for the 192837392 time pic.twitter.com/9GiO01QOUB — ella (@dietcoochei) October 20, 2019 Yes, very much needed. Petition to start a support group for everyone deeply affected by Robert Pattinson's dior ad — Ullu (@BoJaneHorselady) October 19, 2019 Makes sense. therapist: and what's an example of self care? me: watching that robert pattinson dior kissing in an elevator video again therapist: pic.twitter.com/5cs6TiT4WX — צ×פ××¨× Tziporah (@tziporahk) October 18, 2019 While there are thousands of more thirst tweets about it, the best thing to come out of the ad is the memes it has inspired. This is the best comparison I have ever seen. Robert Pattinson for Dior pic.twitter.com/xnXihg6pdb — LAINY (@fauxmodeI) October 20, 2019 Uhh. Robert Pattinson for Dior pic.twitter.com/tibEmxToHR — Nicki Minachi (@Turkaaaaaaaaaa) October 21, 2019 That's one lucky girl. apparently this is camille rowe???? from being harry styles' girlfriend to having dior pay you to be choked by robert pattinson in an elevator???? someone tell me what she did in her past life to deserve this — p ð¹ (@diorshows) October 17, 2019 Oh no. robert pattinson dior ad could be us but meri building ki lift jaali wali hai — preha (@patheticdotcom) October 21, 2019 Oops. I hate the fkn internet. Took this adorbs photo of me and my kitty and the first thing that came to my mind was 'Robert Pattinson for Dior' I HATE YOU ALL pic.twitter.com/sQN48RtViV — Vaishnavi Suresh (@VshnviSuresh) October 21, 2019 Choking, literally. showed my bf the Robert Pattinson Dior video and he fkn grabs my neck like this pic.twitter.com/e6IUDKTM4d — kiki ð¼ð¼ (@chickimnuggets) October 21, 2019 Well, I think they all make scents. I just watched the Robert Pattinson Dior commercial and I think we can all agree that no matter the language , country or person perfume ads don't make any fucking sense. — B-( (@Snoudini) October 21, 2019 One and the same. Robert Pattinson for Dior pic.twitter.com/cOgVLg238A — saint pablo (@paintsablo) October 18, 2019 Umm. Robert Pattinson for Dior pic.twitter.com/WpE4sHKEa5 — Ragnar (@GODbrokk) October 17, 2019 Exactly the samwe. Robert Pattison for Dior (2019) pic.twitter.com/9zOnjjHzEN — Nirali Shah (@nirali_ss) October 21, 2019
  4. Marvel's 'Avengers: Endgame' movie is finally releasing this week. Well, the hype surrounding this movie is so high that it's literally everywhere. Like, everywhere. Heck, people are even looking for their favorite Avengers on Pornhub. Adult site Pornhub on Tuesday revealed a list of the most popular searches for Avengers on its site. The site says that searches for Avengers porn have been climbing since April 15, and it apparently spiked at 2912 percent more than what it usually is. Over 2 million additional searches over the week. Now, that's just insane. © Pornhub To put things into perspective, Pornhub reported only a 356-percent spike for “Avengers” searchers during the release of 'Avengers: Infinity War'. One of the reasons why we love Pornhub reports is that they get into details, and this particular report is no exception. As for the specific characters, Pornhub says the MCU newcomer Captain Marvel topped the list, followed by Black Widow played by Scarlett Johansson. © Marvel Spider-Man and Hulk scored the next two spots in the list, and they were followed by the likes of Captain America, Scarlet Witch, and Gamora. Other characters like Iron Man, Thor and Black Panther are also in the list, but they're not really popular. Supervillain Thanos, in case you're wondering, is not in the list. Well, that's because he's not really an Avenger. Perhaps people don't want to watch a creepy giant purple monster. Anyway, 'Avengers: Endgame' opens on April 26 here in India. Though the movie has been leaked online, we urge you to watch it on the big screen.
  5. The 'Venom' trailer dropped a day before and since then has been creating a buzz for a bevy of reasons. Well, there are times when a trailer is loved by millions of fans but the new development, in case of 'Venom' is pure crazy! Here are the two things that have happened since the trailer was released: • Finally, we were introduced to Tom Hardy's sinister alter-ego, which was missing in the first trailer. • People are crushing over Tom Hardy in a way you never imagined! As soon as the trailer started trending, people started coming up with jokes and memes about the highlight of the new clip. Of course, we are talking about that long and slimy AF tongue, which we thought was the stuff of nightmares. But pretty soon the jokes began getting replaced with new kind of memes altogether…and boy, are they disturbing. Turns out there are some folks out there who are getting turned on by the toothy, slimy back alien parasite. Yup, you heard that right. Oh, how we wish we were kidding. Well, it goes without saying that 'Venom' is completely terrifying, but that is not stopping people from fantasising about having their brains screwed out by Venom. Seriously, WTF! everyone wants to **** venom bc w a tongue like that u know he will eat u out right — nier ruined my life (@sleepyspook) April 25, 2018 Tumblr Is Obsessing Too! The only good thing about the "Venom" trailer is how Tumblr is reacting to it pic.twitter.com/kX6Ju8iSOz — Ryan Broderick (@broderick) April 24, 2018 2018 is great I can just come out here and scream "I would **** Venom" from the rooftops and I'd get positive feedback and murmurs and nods of agreement from the crowd like sort of modern-day prophet. — monsterfucker2000 (@skeletology) April 25, 2018 It's All About The Tongue everyone wants to **** venom bc w a tongue like that u know he will eat u out right — nier ruined my life (@sleepyspook) April 25, 2018 Wanting to have *** with a monster has become something of a thing that started trending around last year. First, it was the super creepy clown Pennywise from 'IT' and then the fish man from 'The Shape Of The Water'. People seem to be developing a fetish for monsters and it's time men start worrying! © Sony Pictures omg pic.twitter.com/LdJUqDc1nw — Ella Minnope (@PluckyChicken) April 25, 2018 JESUS GOD pic.twitter.com/WvfLJ3zAJU — Ella Minnope (@PluckyChicken) April 25, 2018 You Wake Up And Find This! I WAKE UP AND EVERYONE'S HORNY FOR VENOM?? — ⨠B A M P S ⨠(@bampshi) April 25, 2018 me: venom sexy person: oh yeah tom hardy is really hot and- me: pic.twitter.com/nMsFC1NcuB — â¨ðððð ðððð ðððððð⨠(@oodlenoodle_) April 24, 2018 I love that my timeline is equal parts super horny for Venom and super put off by Venom. ...but listen, there is only one right answer here and that is that Venom is hot and has always been hot. — Meg ðª Downey (@rustypolished) April 25, 2018 This is literally and entirely everything I know about Venom that didn't come from the 90s cartoon. pic.twitter.com/vcQyCKom9g — Susan (@Spindilly) April 25, 2018 people who wanna **** venom are more powerful than the people who wanted to **** pennywise i said what i said — Ù (@DAREDEVlllS) April 24, 2018 Me watching my tl thirst over venom pic.twitter.com/LxgurJ7Ctx — Annaâï¸ (@annamoo107) April 25, 2018 In Fact People Are Even Debating About This! people who want to the fishman from The Shape of Water to raw them? VALID those who wanna **** Venom? SO VALID. all those who wanted to **** pennywise the clown.....validation DENIED pic.twitter.com/GgMfYZu4IL — linlyð (@G0NEGIRLLL) April 24, 2018 Then There Were Also Some Funny Memes That Cracked Us Up. The Venom people forgot to give him pupils, but I have fixed it. pic.twitter.com/fOIlSo1va9 — Daniel Spenser (@DanSpenser) April 24, 2018 The Venom movie is gonna crush pic.twitter.com/sAOEPxcEW4 — áµ£âbáµ£ââdáµ¢âg ᵤâdâáµ£ Dᵤᵣâââ (@crmotwo) April 25, 2018 Topical references only. That's my credo pic.twitter.com/bcrYf9YZl0 — Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) April 24, 2018 the new venom movie looks amazing pic.twitter.com/4aHO7YimxN — nunu remake (@gustavocrata) April 24, 2018 Not judging anyone here, after all, people have a right to sleep with whoever they want. BUT COME ON! Venom? Really??
  6. Life in Taiwan is quite miserable right now. Hospitals have started to save on money, ambulances have been saving on fuel and in turn, top-notch HR executives are being hired at every doctor-hood operational. For just one simple thing—to hire a nurse that'll bring them double the business. And this is nothing. More than a thousand doctors have lost control over their hormones and are turning into patients for one big reason. Before you too, lose control, here's the reason... ©Instagram/Carina Linn Seems all justified to you now? Nope? For a minute then, just hold that bulge... ©Instagram/Carina Linn Not able to? No worries, just deal with it till you finish reading this. This melting lava in these pictures above is Taiwanese resident, Carina Linn. Full-time nurse and with just 54 posts on her Instagram, she's already the sexiest woman on the internet. Okay wait, she's thirsty right now, let's give her a minute... ©Instagram/Carina Linn Time to continue. An employee of Taiwan's Min-Sheng General Hospital, Carina was apparently not even expecting this fame. Like, what? Can she look into the mirror, at least for once? Oh, it might be cracked. ©Instagram/Carina Linn While speaking to Legit News recently, she said "I am me, I do things that make me feel happy, I don’t think that I am anything special or extraordinary, I am just someone leading an ordinary life." It's true, her assets are quite ordinary too. No? Don't believe me? Here's evidence... ©Instagram/Carina Linn Don't you dare now stare into the screen. ©Instagram/Carina Linn Anyway, I'm off now—off to the garden that grew flowers on her top. Attending nature's call, I call it. Bye!
  7. On January 6, the government in Mumbai activated 510 hotspots all over the city and made Mumbai or Bombay—as it is known fondly—the first Indian city with widespread Wi-Fi connectivity. So, naturally, people are using it to listen to their Arijit Singh heavy playlists, grainy 90s Alka Yagnik videos and an insane amount of pornography. Because according to reports, 30,000 of the three lakh people who access the city’s Wi-Fi spot, use it regularly to access...wait for it...porn! © Facebook “This is a game of cat and mouse, where we block such websites and they keep coming up using different domain names. No one can stop them. It is a continuous process, which will go on forever. The problem is, people won’t stop watching pornography. What we can do is keep refining the system. As soon as a user tries to access such websites, we have a system which blocks the access. The 38 websites are those that somehow escaped from our system,” said VK Gautam, Principal Secretary, state IT department. Moral of the story? Who knew, Mumbai would turn out to be such a horny city (LOL!), so let's not call Delhi the ONLY ***-starved city in the nation.
  8. For once, we might believe the people who say they don’t use Twitter or Facebook, but if someone says they don’t know about Tinder, remember that face because that’s what a liar looks like. They are the ones who might look righteous and all, but will always end up being swiped to the extreme left. Thanks to all the loners across the world, these dating apps are making shit loads of money by crushing our souls and hopes of dating, every f**king day. In fact, Tinder’s popularity has skyrocketed to such an extent that even animals have started seeking help from it. Seems they too realized that the virtual world gives us the chance to massage our burned and rejected egos, in the name of fake accounts. © Twitter While going through Tinder, don’t be surprised if you come across Sudan, a 43 year-old, 6ft tall male from Kenya who apparently loves to travel and chill outdoors and is a priceless possession to the world. Ladies, does he look like your dream guy? Well, if you can handle the charm of this Northern White Rhino, then you might be the one he is looking for. Sudan is the world’s last male rhino and is now desperately looking for a mating partner just so he can save his species. In fact, his profile reportedly reads “I don’t mean to be too forward, but the fate of my species literally depends on me.” Now, that’s one f**king pick-up line that I would love to steal and try on as many women as possible. Blame it on his Kenyan testosterone levels or whatever, but this rhino is giving some really tough competition to humans. © Ol Pejeta This ‘desperate-to-find-a-mate’ idea is the brainchild of some Conservationists who hope that Sudan’s *** appeal will help them raise enough money for $9-million fertility treatment. This move comes after they failed to get him to mate naturally. Scientists, too, have put on their working hats and are hoping to use Sudan’s sperm to fertilise an egg from either 17-year-old Satu or 27-year-old Najin, one of the two last northern white female rhinos left. © Facebook While they have tried every measure to help Sudan and the females have fun, things never led to fruition. “There’s always that fear. He’s old, he might die soon,” Richard Vigne, a rhino expert and CEO of Ol Pejeta Conservancy said. “As long as the demand for rhino horn in the Far East persists, there will always be an ever-present threat.” On a lighter note, Sudan’s popularity is no joke. Within hours after he went online, the conservancy’s site crashed because the number of hits were insane. In days where Rhinos get more attention on Tinder than humans who have been there since time immemorial, let’s just paint our bodies in animal prints and start uploading them. Who knows, some PETA lover might right swipe us. Source: Mirror
  9. Question: Have you ever had a quickie? It could have been anywhere… at a family gathering in the upstairs bathroom before someone noticed you missing… at your workplace restrooms during the 5 minute coffee break before that incredibly life-altering conference… in the changing room of a lingerie store because, come the **** on! The thing with quickies is they’re… well, quick. But, is there a minimum or maximum on how quick can a quickie really be? And if there is, then how are you getting the most out of that quickie? What’s the point of a quick romp? It’s when you’re horny as **** and you can’t keep your hands to yourself and you want to blow each other’ brains out but, for some reason, you have a time constraint—just like in the cases explained above. That’s what quickies are for. And honestly, by the time you get down to it, the two of you should be on the verge of being wet and/or hard for one another. That’s what makes it a quickie because half the work has already been done. (c) Thinkstock Here’s what a Quickie means - There’s usually no time for foreplay. A quickie does not allow you time for oral ***. It’s the most basic ‘get-in-get-on-get out’ method. You’re either down with it, or you’re not. - It’s not about the nudity. Remember when Madonna and Justin Timberlake had six minutes to save the world? Yeah, same thing. And you can’t factor in your good looking naked selves into it. Because, darling you can’t have everything. - You have to keep it hush. Because most of the time, a quickie implies that you’re sneaking out and trying to get it on, without giving it away to others. Also, most times, it’s in a public washroom or a changing room which, again, means you need to be silent. - You need to know you tricks. By tricks I mean, you should by now, have certain ways that you can get him, or her off and over the edge without trying for too hard and too long. - It’s about one person. As sad as that might sound, it’s true. It’s a quickie. There’s no way both of you are going to cum together, unless you’re both THAT easy to get off. So, decide who’s going to be the benefactor and focus on getting them off. Let them return the favour next time. (c) Thinkstock So how do you make the most of your 5-minutes of pleasurama? 1. Be Prepared The sign of someone who’s good at quickies—and for that matter, good in bed, period—is that they’re always prepared. This means you have the condom bit sorted; along with the fact that you and/or your partner know how to slip it on in no time at all, whatsoever. (c) Thinkstock 2. Snag A Corner You need to keep an eye out for potential places you can get it on with your partner, without being noticed. The spacious closet on the first floor of the family house that no one uses, the basement that no one cares about, the car when it’s parked under a well spread out low bush that can hide just about anything. The awkwardly narrow alley behind the building, the abandoned washroom on one of the office floors—mark your territories and mark them well. (c) Thinkstock 3. Build It Up Before you actually get down to the actual act, you need to build it up. Remember this is a quickie; you don’t have time to play around. It’s strictly business. So, make a phone call, text if you must but get your partner so anticipated that you could take them right then and there with complete confidence. If you’re good at sexting, then use your typing skills and combine them with your kinkiest thoughts. (c) Thinkstock 4. Dress Light By light, we don’t mean in a vest and underpants, only; especially if you’re at a pub, a mall or in an office. But, that doesn’t mean you need to button up too much. The same goes for your partner, an easy front opening is all you need to get the job done. (c) Thinkstock 5. Standardise Your Go-To Moves You have to have at least two to three positions in mind to be able to get it on in a time (and space) constraint. These positions should work anywhere—a washroom, a closet, a cubicle, you name it. The cowgirl with her on your lap, up against the wall works fine. Bonus if you know a few more. (c) Thinkstock 6. Don’t Over-analyse It’s a quickie which means you don’t have time to analyse or think too much about whether or not you’re doing it right. No time for questions and reassurance mid-coitus. I never thought I’d say this, but you’ve got to be practical here. (c) Thinkstock
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