Just a few days ago, we were discussing the whole outrage that was triggered with lewd discussions happening on the Instagram group, Bois Locker Room. Everyone made it a war on social media platforms wherein we talked about how, even in the 21st century, we are having a problem understanding the concept of respect between two genders.
And now, right after Bois Locker Room, another video has surfaced wherein we are yet again witnessing the problematic culture of âHow To Impress Womenâ. In the video, you can see two men in the frame and one woman whoâs not on camera. So, she is trying to explain to them that the whole idea of their video about how to impress women is sexist and those two men didnât give her a chance to share her opinion. One of the anchors kept interrupting her and it almost felt like he is some âwannabeâ Arnab Goswami.
so @LawSikho hosted a webinar âfor men onlyâ on how to impress women, & when a woman tried to tell them that the things they are saying arenât correct, they attacked her, mr. ramanuj said âIâll take care of herâ & basically told her to **** off âcause she gave her opinion. pic.twitter.com/8T5Y2PPpxzâ akshiâ· (@jjkbridge) May 15, 2020
Well, things are changing wherein we are trying to understand that age-old flag bearers of patriarchy havenât done us any good. But, with these two episodes, it feels that we still need to learn a few things. So here, we will be discussing five such points which can help us (especially men) learn a few lessons from them.1. Problematic Culture Of âHow To Impress A Womanâ
The idea of â6 Din Ladki Inâ is problematic and talking about how a man can impress a woman is extremely sexist. Itâs high time we stop entertaining such conversations and if men tell other men to stop such problematic conversations, it would have a bigger impact. Itâs time we step up and stop talking about things we have been casually doing for years such as - Ways To Woo A Woman. Just like not all men are sexists, similarly not all women can be wooed using a particular format. Let us stop encouraging such discussions where we only objectify the other gender.
Â© Fox News2. Some Lessons From Bois Locker Room Conversation
Letâs please admit that the screenshots from this particular group made us sick, as we were left appalled about how casually they had lewd conversations ranging from âjokesâ about womenâs private parts to planning a gang rape. They go after women who wear âshort clothesâ and degrade them to nothing but sexual objects. Itâs time men raise questions when they see such conversations happening and nip it in the bud. If you have a colleague who feels his opinion is far more important than the female colleague's, then make sure to raise your voice against such behaviour immediately.3. Understand The Concept Of Consent
If you have seen Pink, you would understand the meaning of âNo Means Noâ. Let me share the hard-hitting dialogue by Amitabh Bachchan here, âThese boys must realize, 'No' ka matlab 'No' hota hai. Use bolne wali ladki koi parichit ho, friend ho, girlfriend ho, koi s*x worker ho ya apki apni biwi hi kyu na ho. 'No' means 'No'. And when someone says so you STOP! Na sirf shabd nahi hai...apne aap mein pura vaakya hai. Isi kisi tark, spashtikaran, explanation ya vyakhya ki zarurat nahi hoti.â Why are we still struggling to understand the concept of consent? Is this hard to understand? Itâs time men finally understand the real meaning of consent and those who do should make such men understand who are having a tough time getting the point.4. Bollywood And Casual Take On âLadki Pataofy Cultureâ And âPyaar Mein Thappad Is Okayâ
Well, from making chasing girls look cool to coming up with content supporting women, Bollywood has surely come a long way. But, the problem is still there. Back in the 70s, in Sholay, Dharmendra touched Hema Malini without her consent when he was trying to teach her how to shoot with a gun. He actually forced her to fall in love with him by blackmailing her that he will commit suicide in the movie. We accepted it and celebrated it. Going forward in the 90s, Salman Khan in Biwi Number One played the role of a husband who cheats on his wife and we still did nothing. Akshay Kumar and Govinda have done numerous movies where stalking was normalised and treating women badly was okay with us. Cut to 2019, we were okay with the misogynistic character of Kabir Singh. Itâs time that especially men stop accepting these characters and raise their voice against such ideologies.5. Respect Between Two Genders
Itâs high time that we start respecting the other gender. Itâs time we understand what feminism truly is about and men who understand it can give examples to those who donât. In 1949, Simone de Beauvoir in her book, The Second ***, quoted, âThe truth is that just as â biologically â males and females are never victims of one another but both victims of the species, so man and wife together undergo the oppression of an institution they did not create. If it is asserted that men oppress women, the husband is indignant; he feels that he is the one who is oppressed â and he is; but the fact is that it is the masculine code, it is the society developed by the males and in their interest, that has established womanâs situation in a form that is at present a source of torment for both sexes.â Itâs time to put a full stop to degrading the other gender.
Itâs high time we understand that coexisting is the only way to survive and itâs better that we do it by respecting the other gender.