Cricket: Extracts from Herschelle Gibbs’ autobiography

[Waqas Dar 7,059]

At the moment, I have no access to Herschelle Gibbs’ book. But I assume it goes something like this.

On women:

“I’ve always respected women. When I’m in an orgy, I am constantly asking a woman if she is feeling ok, whether there is anything I can do to make her feel more comfortable. I’ve gone as far as paying for their taxi on the way home. You see, it doesn’t take much to treat a woman right after she’s let you cum in her ass and let her friend felch it out. Just a bit of respect. ”

On match fixing:

“To be honest, I’ve forgotten all the details.”

On the South African clique:

“One day I was pissed out of my mind, so I thought it would be cool to ask Graeme and Mark if I could join the leadership group. They said I had to go through an initiation. I thought it’d be fun, like paddles and shit. It started with me holding these two metal things E-somethings, and then they all yelled at me, pointing out all the mistakes I’d made, like not buying a copy of AB’s album, it took forever. The next part was me being locked in a room while they treated me like a dog. It was ok, until Jacque put a collar on me. That was weird. But then they asked me to watch Battlefield Earth, that film is seriously shit, so I decided to just forget about it”.

On drugs:

“I’ve tried buzz, scag, woop, pla, e, weed, 7, acid, purple drank, shrooms, s, charlie, ploppa, angel, sunshine, pebbles, kicker and zoom. Not all at once. That is an important lesson for all kids out there.”

On Jacques Kallis:

“I once saw him eat a live dog. He didn’t even shave it.“

On Hansie:

“I think he was the biggest influence on my life. Without him, I don’t know where I’d be. He was just the perfect specimen of manliness, sort of like Steve McQueen, but cooler. He wore the best leather jackets too. People may not like him, but you can’t deny what a great man he was for South African cricket. Sometimes when Graeme is yelling at us, I close my eyes and dream of Hansie. I always feel better afterwards.”

On Paul Harris:

“Who?”

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