The two moth old issue was just about to laid to rest, but China (yet again!) decided to trigger Indians. This time they definitely hit us below the belt with this unbelievable video covered by China's official news agency, Xinhua News. But before that, here is a quick recap of everything that happened in those two months. 

1. China attempted to build a road in the Doklam region – a disputed territory located in the Chumbi valley at a tri-junction of India, Bhutan and China. Bhutan obviously could not afford to act. Thus it sought India's help. 

2. Chinese forgot one important thing, Indians don't like proper roads. Duh! On a serious note, if that road was made, it could pose threat to India and its national security at its so-called ‘chicken's neck' sector. 

3. Chinese diplomats were quick to react and then began the Cold war. We don't care about that, as long as it isn't followed by a World war. Still, here are a few statements, in case you are a stranger to the capabilities of  the people in power whose primary job is to keep civilians angry. 

From 3rd August, that is less than 24-hour after the invasion, six organizations nationally recognized in China—delivered a barrage of warnings to India stating the possible consequences of their actions.

Wu Qian, China's defence minister said, “Don't push your luck and rely on unrealistic illusions”. 

In a speech marking the 80th anniversary of the founding of the PLA on 1st of August, Xi sternly affirmed: “Nobody should nurse any hope that we will swallow the bitter fruit of harm to our national sovereignty, security and development interests.”

4. Neither of the two involved countries can afford a war right now. Because Beijing is about to hold the BRICS summit in the Fujian province, which is one of the biggest foreign policy events for them. And India simply can't afford a war since China can attack the chicken's neck and part the North-eastern states from the remaining states of India. Also, the motive of wars like these isn't to resolve the issue, but to fuel hatred in the hearts of patriotic citizens. If it weren't true, India could release the China war report and lay the truth out in the open. 

Coming back to the parody of actual news, let's discuss the segment aired by the Chinese news network.

The seven sins committed by India, which the reporter pointed out were: “Trespassing, violating a bilateral convention, trampling international law, confusing right and wrong, putting the blame on the victim, hijacking a small neighbor and sticking to a mistake knowingly.”

© China Xinhua News

GIRL! The Sardar jokes aren't funny. We used to make them in second grade. If you were trying to be funny, your clearly blinded self-efficacy definitely made me laugh. Also, stick tight to that job and also to your country. You would never find a job with that sense of humor in India or any part of the world (I imagine).  

© China Xinhua News

We don't even need to apply wit in reply to this, facts will suffice. The least you could have done was a simple Google search. Here is how Google, India and Bhutan see the boundaries of the three countries versus how China sees it. 

© China Xinhua News

© China Xinhua News

She called us a bad neighbor. This one genuinely made me laugh. Half of the stingy Indians would be dead of starvation if we weren't good neighbors and supplied each other with everything from toast to toasters. This whole issue is an example of how good a neighbor we Indians are. We came to Bhutan's rescue against you bullies. 

Here is the entire video! Be warned, here's a trigger warning!

#TheSpark: 7 Sins of India. It's time for India to confess its SEVEN SINS. pic.twitter.com/vb9lQ40VPH

Listen China; there is only one way you are getting Doklam, “Aaja lad le”. I am sad that you won't ever be able to figure out the meaning of that sentence since you can't Google (established earlier) and more importantly  don't care enough to look into the facts before making claims. PEACE!