Every year, the festival of lights awakens cracker bursting idiots who are hellbent on choking the life out of everybody. This year, they must be proud. Because of their sheer idiotic hard work, New Delhi is presently the most polluted city in the world, with literally fatal air contamination levels. 

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The situation in some parts of the city is so bad that the levels are a belligerent five times to those considered unhealthy by the US Environmental Protection Agency. The current levels sit at 999, which is WAY ahead of the pollution levels in the world’s biggest metropolitan cities. Even Beijing, which was all up in the news last year for its pollution levels at a very, very pleasant 30. If you didn’t know, emergency measures are being taken currently with 5,000 schools shut and major constructions halted. Delhi Government is also planning an artificial rain (shower) in an attempt to settle particulate matter in the air.

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Pollution masks are becoming way more common in the city than we thought they’d ever be. No matter how hard we try to keep people away from crackers, every Diwali millions of dumb nuts make the city unlivable.