Imagine this scene: You’ve been dating for a while and want to spice up your relationship by venturing into unchartered territories. To put it simply, you are tired of your vanilla *** life, and want to explore, the rear end (sorry!) of an exciting *** proposition a.k.a. anal ***. Reason? Because you’ve always fantasized about it. Because you’ve probably watched way too much anal porn. Because why not?! And what better day to address the elephant in the room, than to do it on Valentine's Day. A day where you can FINALLY implement the much read and bookmarked chapters of '50 Shades of Gray'. Still not convinced? Here are 13 brave (read: experienced) Indian men who’ll tell who exactly how to go about it...

1. “Would you like me to take a look at your backend?” Sahil, 26

2. “I want to love you (w)hole!” Neel, 27

3. “Want a deep tissue massage?” Shawn, 28

4. “Ok! So, I guess, first of all, you gotta be really really smooth (no pun intended). I mean the moment you demand, you lose whether it’s Valentine’s Day or Christmas, it doesn’t matter. I mean, you can’t ask her to be your Analtime on Valentine. One has to earn the key to the door and the door to this door ain’t an easy one. You gotta pamper your girl to the T. Think spa, favorite restaurants, cocktails made by unicorns and what not. Do whatever it takes, and then pop the million dollar question!” Karan, 32

5. “Just like a DM... slide it in!” Rohan, 28

© Mensxp/Samiksha Sharma

6. “I know I promised to take you to Greece this year. How about we warm up first with some Greek ***?” Ankush, 29

7. “Would you like to stir up some peanut butter in your buns, my love?” Keshav, 27

8. “You know how much I love seafood right? But lately. I've been craving for some chocolate covered starfish!” Paras, 30

9. “Want me to refill your love tank?” Ankit, 27

10. “umm, 18 tequilas and a dollop of the best lube = Winning!” Shantanu, 26

11. “Girl! You know I’ll always have your back!” Naman, 28

12. “Sneak her a message on Whatsapp—Hey babe! Can I park my truck in your alley?” Vishal, 28

13. “Can my rocket explode in your moon? Sid, 26